Video gaming is one in a long line of hobbies sabotaged by my OCD. I am often intrigued by the games I see my friends and family playing, but every time I try one, it triggers familiar obsessions. I have to read every single line of dialogue, and if I miss one, I have to scour the internet until I find out what it said. I have to click every item that it is possible to click on, and try the ones that aren’t clickable just in case. I have to create layouts that are perfectly symmetrical (despite a genuine interest in urban planning, my hour of playing Cities: Skylines ended in tears). I have to complete every goal in every possible storyline, which becomes problematic when I am forced to choose just one. The list goes on and on. These may sound like trivial concerns, and honestly, they are, but my brain doesn’t know that. When a game aggravates my OCD, it leaks into my actual life, and suddenly my week is derailed by obsessive thoughts. So, until recently, gaming has never been worth the effort. Stardew Valley has proven to be the exception.
One of Stardew’s most helpful features is its cyclicality. The same four seasons repeat every year, and everything available in one summer will be available the next. It allows me to let go of the stress of losing out on crucial items, because I know I’ll have several chances to get them. The same goes for quests. Normally, if I took a request for a specific fish and couldn’t catch it, that would be reason enough to quit. I would become obsessed with the fact that, due to my failure, I would be locked out of some central part of the story and would never get to fully experience the game. But in Stardew Valley, even when I decline or fail a quest, it always reappears eventually. Even the dialogue repeats, so I know that if I spend my day farming rather than chatting, the information isn’t lost forever. All of these recurring factors make me feel like I can move at my own pace without making any sacrifices.
I also appreciate Stardew Valley’s approach to goal setting. At the beginning of year three, there is an event called Grandpa’s Evaluation where the player’s accomplishments are evaluated on a point system. If I had known about this when I started, it would have been all I thought about. I probably would have whipped up an Excel sheet and scheduled my day minute by minute to maximize my point totals (There is nothing wrong with this style of play! It is just not healthy for me personally). But I didn’t know it was coming because the game never told me. Therefore, I was able to focus my energy on more achievable goals with no time limit, like restoring the Community Center step by step. Having a firm set of tasks while still retaining flexibility in my activities is essential for me to enjoy the game, and so was my blissful ignorance of certain metrics.
Another element that soothes my anxiety is the relationship process in Stardew Valley. Many games employ a branching storyline where the player has to pick one love interest who determines the course of the game. I tend to feel paralyzed by that choice and like I am missing out on the other potential story directions. Stardew, in contrast, allows the player to form strong relationships with multiple characters. I love being able to learn all of the details of these characters’ lives, from Leah’s art to Linus’ philosophy. I still haven’t progressed far enough to get married, and I appreciate that it can wait until later in the game. Even though you only marry one person, it doesn’t cut off your access to everyone else. As a player who gets easily hung up on ‘missing’ information, this is valuable.
Of course, Stardew Valley is not a complete escape from my condition. I have to pause almost every minute to reorganize my inventory because I can’t bear to look at empty spaces. And if I forget a morning ritual, collecting eggs for instance, I have to immediately run back to the farm to complete it, even though waiting until evening would make no functional difference. But these minor inconveniences are nothing compared to the spirals spurred by other games. I have logged 40 hours playing Stardew Valley, which is more than all of the rest of my gaming combined. It taught me that I don’t have to give up on video games entirely just because I need certain accommodations.
