We all know that the we way we interact with strangers quite different than the way we interact with friends. We act much more naturally amongst friends, because we feel comfortable around them. I noticed this while playing Co-Op in Stardew Valley and it highlights this distinction, but also raises an interesting insight.
When I played Stardew Valley with strangers, the game acted both as a sort of ice-breaker and conversation starter. Since we all knew how to play the game (the basic mechanics of the game, the various goals to achieve, etc), it made talking about what we wanted to do as a group much easier and made the transition between strangers to teammates smoother. The relative freedom that Stardew grants the player also made working together much easier. Each individual player can choose what they want to do that day; there are no restrictions or requirements for anything (with a few exceptions, such as sleeping before 2am), and the players can collaborate as much or as little as they want. Stardew also helped our communication, because we all could talk about things related to the game; however, the conversation was almost all gameplay-related, either talking about their current plans or about something they had done on their personal farm. Overall, playing Stardew with strangers definitely helped break the ice between us, but the interactions that we had around the game were purely gameplay-related, and we didn’t really exchange any meaningful conversations. This was with strangers who already knew the basic mechanics of the game already, so playing with complete strangers who haven’t played the game before might have different results. Perhaps it would produce more collaboration as all players would start at the same level of gameplay knowledge. Or maybe it would reduce collaboration, as there is nothing else to connect the players together.
But when I played Stardew with my friends who I’ve known since high school, the dynamic was completely different. Because we had already known each other for so long, communication was smooth already, which allowed us to collaborate much more and accomplish more, at a faster pace. That was when we played our first farm; we wanted to just make as much money as possible and see how far we could progress. As we played different farms, we were much more willing to try out weird strategies or create wacky rules to follow, that would spice up the game more. We would play different metagames too, such as hide-and-seek, or competing against each other in the arcade games at the saloon. In terms of out communication, we also talked much more about topics unrelated to the game, such as discussing the latest Warriors game or complaining about workloads. Not only does this reflect the way we interact with people in different social circles (stranger vs friend), but it also highlights how a game is played with people in different social circles. When playing with strangers, we are mainly playing the game the way it is “meant” to be played; we try working together on building a farm, making money through various tasks, exploring the mines, or working on the community center bundles. This could be because when you interact with strangers, it is easier to play under the same rules so that everyone knows what to do, and that creates something in common. Similarly, if you want to try other ways of playing the game, it might make other players uncomfortable because they don’t know how to play that way, or they haven’t played that way before and are anxious about it. On the other hand, when playing with friends, you actually use the game as a medium through which you interact with your friends. We can play the game “normally”, but can also do anything we want in the Stardew Valley world, and the internal barriers that stop us from exploring them when playing with strangers fall when you play with people you are close to. Just like how we contain our behavior into a certain set of social norms when interacting with strangers, we contain ourselves to the “rules” of the game and the way the game “should” be played.
